The Year 2012

I would like to say that I started this year out on the right foot.  But I didn't exactly do that.  You see, during Christmas break I got into the habit of staying up until 11-11:30 pm and not getting up until 9 am or later.  That's not such a good thing because I have school starting back up tomorrow  morning and I have Show Choir at 7:30 am...which means that I really should get up before  6:30 am.  And I watched Rawhide nearly all day today so I didn't get hardly any school done so I have a whole bunch of Government to do tomorrow (along with other schoolwork).  And needless to say, I'm not excited.

I'm honestly waiting for the day when I wake up and I'm the person I really want to be.  Mature, disciplined, always on top of things (school specifically), non time-waster, and someone who generally does things when they're supposed to.  That definitely didn't happen today.  And I think it was because I got really lazy over Christmas break and didn't apply myself.  Second semester starts in two weeks and I have 8 classes to attend/take.  Choir is a class but I don't have homework so it's really only 7 classes but still...and I have voice and piano lessons - and I have to practice really hard this semester.  Not only because I'm doing a senior recital but we (my parents) pay money.  And honestly, I'm scared for when I go to college...scared that I'm not going to be responsible enough for myself.  It really does scare me.  And I don't like it.

Anyway, all this to say: I really hope that I can change for the better this year...I don't like being the type of person who is always wishing that a) they were someone else or b) always wanting to do better and be more responsible and get things done on time.  So I guess I'll see what happens. 

Rachel

heads up to everyone!! :D

To: my followers and other bloggers who so graciously stop by my blog---

I probably won't be posting on here until Christmas break - my priorities right now have to be school and music practicing (piano, voice) so for those of you who visit my blog from now until then, I won't have posted anything new...I still have to figure out where my blog fits into my life and if it's something I really want to focus on and put time/energy into.

Thanks to all for your understanding and patience.  (And if you decided not to follow me because I don't post very often or you're tired of looking at tabs and finding nothing there, I'm sorry...and I'm going to try and get things spiffed up around here during Christmas break).

<3's

~ Rachel

my thoughts...

If you don't have enough time, get off the computer. :)  And the looking for love - right up my alley. <3

Rachel

I'm ok now - I think :)

Given the post last night, ya'll may be wondering if I'm going to be on here anymore...I am, but I have to set boundaries.  And as you can probably guess, I'm not done with school  yet - so that's one of my goals.

1) Be done with school before doing anything on blogger.
2) Make a schedule.

The one thing I really don't like is that when I think about the stuff above, I think "I should be way beyond this point now - I'm a senior and I should be able to manage my own time, get schoolwork done, and get good grades".   Well, I'll try - and I'm not succeeding so far - I'm probably not going to be on here tomorrow at all - and that's a promise!! :)  So I might be on here Thursday? Otherwise, not until next week - we're going to be gone this weekend for deer hunting (for my dad - not me though :) and we're celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday as well.  Hope you all have a great rest of the week!! :)

Rachel

does anyone else ever feel like this?

ok, so right now I'm supposed to be doing anatomy, but I thought I'd get this out here while I'm at it.  Does anyone else feel like they're pretty worthless?  Like honestly, I wonder why my friends even want to be around me - for one thing, my favorite topics don't vary much :)  and besides, no one really wants to hear about the things that we talked about last time.  I know I'm rambling - I guess right now I feel like:

1) I'm wasting time on here when I should be doing schoolwork - it's more fun to read about what everyone else has been doing than actually getting my own things done.
2) The reason I can't get Facebook yet is that I'm not 'responsible' enough w/ everything else.
3) I'm afraid I'll have to get glasses because I spend too much time on the computer - ok, more than I normally do - I follow 46 blogs now - and I'm really considering just getting off of this whole thing and just reading books.
Then I wouldn't worry about whether I'm going to graduate or not; whether I"m really going to start exercising anytime soon; and maybe wondering if any guy's going to ask me to prom this year or not - I wouldn't be surprised if no one did - I'm too loud anyway.  Don't get me wrong here - I'm not thinking of doing anything drastic - I"m just trying to figure everything out.  And I know how annoying it is to just sit and listen to other people whine and complain about how complicated their life is when in reality, my life is pretty good.  I just think that I have to wait for too many things at one time. 
Like yeah, I have my license now and I have a camera.  But I still want Fb, an mP3 player, a laptop and a phone.  They're not the most important things in the world, I know, but they're things I want.  And besides, they cost money, but hey, I've got some - but on the other hand, I probably should save that for college.  But hey, that's what bday and Christmas money's for, right?  All this to say - I really feel at loose ends right now - like I really don't know what my life's going to be about and I really don't care right now.  I guess I just want to sit and read the rest of my life - and that's not going to happen anytime soon.

I make lists, people - and I re-write them - and then two weeks later, re-write them again because maybe I've checked off one or two things but I have "mountains of homework to do!!!!" and it's not getting better.  I think I'm the most lazy senior around here - I probably won't even pass this year -and then I won't go to college, and then I won't get a bf (my mom wouldn't like to hear this :) and you know what - I better stop before I bore you to death -I'm getting a little tired myself.  I don't know what I accomplished by writing this post - just a whole bunch of words and dashses - and they don't really make sense...just like I really don't make sense - a lot of times.  and I don't have it that bad off compared to other people.  I'm tempted to just stop going on here for a long time - and then I'll never catch up on reading everybody's posts.

goodnight. and hope you have a better night than I do...anatomy here I come...:D (not!! :)
~Rachel <3

Facebook - to have or not to have?

ok, so I know that Facebook is a big time-waster, but honestly, there are only two reasons that I want to get it:
~ to stay in touch with people that I haven't seen for a long time or that I don't get to see very often.
~ I want a Pinterest account because right now I have a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of photos on my USB that I want to post on there.

So, I guess I have to wait until I'm "more responsible" :), and until I start budgeting my time, I probably won't be getting fb anytime soon.  And then people can see my senior pics, right?

~Rachel

P.S. And I know that people just tell me to wait, but you know, that's really hard to do.  Besides, graduation is in 8 months and I don't know if I can wait that long. :)

This year - my life - decisions...

     School and music are the most/should be the most important things in my life right now.  This is my senior year after all and I don't want to get to the end of it and be trying to cram all my school stuff in because I spent too much time on the computer.  It's so hard to find balance...I know a schedule would help, and I would love to be able to check Blogger only 1-2 times per week, but I follow so many blogs, that I would never be able to read all of everyone's posts.  And I don't want to stop following any of the people I have right now.  It's so hard to know!!!! 

I want to be able to figure out what I want this blog to be about.  Here are my ideas/rants/raves :)

~ I would love to be able to do posts on the little things in life.  But that means I'd be spending an awful lot of time on here on a regular basis, which unfortunately, I don't have.
~ I don't want this blog to be something really boring but I don't have time to make it something elaborate.
~ Maybe I should just do a mega-monthly post, where at the end of the month, I would post about all the important things that happened that month....
Right now, I'm spending more time on the computer than I probably should and so my "to-do list" of this past summer isn't getting done and I'm stressing out over all the school I'm not getting done and all the fun things I'm not getting done....I'll stop now.  I don't want to stress anyone else out.

Any ideas?

~Rachel <3

P.S. I will probably take a break for a while from this blog - I love it and I'm sad that I only got started, but I think I need to re-think my priorities for this year.  Love you all!!!<3

I just saw a sneak peak of my senior pics - and I'm telling you, I'm having a hard time not jumping on board the Facebook boat right now! :)  I want to get it so bad, but I think my parents are kind of hesitant for me you get it, because right now I'm spending too much time on Blogger and Gmail already and if I get Facebook, it'll be interesting to see if my schoolwork gets done...:) 

Anyway, the only reason I want to get Fb is to keep in touch with people that I haven't seen for a really long time and want to keep in touch with and who I wouldn't call or who don't check their emails...so that's my long schpeel and I am almost jumping up and down right now to see the rest of my pics - and I'm having another shoot next week w/ the piano and I want to do a "city girl" section too!! So excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:) 

P.S. Have I said how much I love being a senior? :)

a blustery post...

So life is just so crazy right now- I already spend enough time on Gmail and Blogger, more than I should, plus other websites (collegefashion.net is an amazing site - just sayin':)  Anyways, then my school doesn't get done, which is how it is right now.  I'm finishing up chemistry and geometry and I'm starting Alg. 2 soon and government and worldview...I'm in choir at school and I'm in show choir too, I have two voice lessons per week and piano is every other week, which is nice.  I'm going to a girls' retreat this weekend that my cousin is hosting - I'm so excited for it!  It should be fun to get out and enjoy this beautiful, yet really windy, fall weather.  I still haven't gotten senior pics done yet - I'm excited for those too!  I have like 60 pic ideas on a USB drive - don't know how I'm going to pick my outifts and such, I'm waiting of those fall leaves to turn a pretty shade.  The problem is that I tend to think about everything at once - like right now I have a math test waiting to be finished before my tutor comes tonite...I haven't really decided if I want a blog right now.  It seems fun and all, but I think I have to get my priorities straight first.  It seems like that won't probably happen until I get to college, when I'll be too busy to even go on here.  I'll have to make strict boundaries for that and websites too once I leave. I'm so super pumped for Courageous to come out next Friday night!!!!!!! I wish our movie theatre would get it on opening night but they probably won't get it until the next weekend and besides, I might do senior pics next weekend since I'm gone this weekend.  I think that Blogger and reading and music are my escapes - I get a peak into other peoples' worlds and wish I was them instead of who I am...that's not always good I guess.  Sorry this is such a random post - just trying to sort everything out and decide if this is something I want to do - I'd love to do it, but I don't have time to get the blog in order to make it interesting...I have to get my schedule and priorites straight first...
<3 Rachel

My New Blog

Well, it's done - I officially have my own blog.  Of course, I have to check it out w/ my parents to make sure it's ok....the other thing is, for the people who are going to be following it - just to warn you:  I'm busy until about the first part of June w/school, so I probably won't post until then. 

Happy blogging!

Rachel