I would like to say that I started this year out on the right foot. But I didn't exactly do that. You see, during Christmas break I got into the habit of staying up until 11-11:30 pm and not getting up until 9 am or later. That's not such a good thing because I have school starting back up tomorrow morning and I have Show Choir at 7:30 am...which means that I really should get up before 6:30 am. And I watched Rawhide nearly all day today so I didn't get hardly any school done so I have a whole bunch of Government to do tomorrow (along with other schoolwork). And needless to say, I'm not excited.
I'm honestly waiting for the day when I wake up and I'm the person I really want to be. Mature, disciplined, always on top of things (school specifically), non time-waster, and someone who generally does things when they're supposed to. That definitely didn't happen today. And I think it was because I got really lazy over Christmas break and didn't apply myself. Second semester starts in two weeks and I have 8 classes to attend/take. Choir is a class but I don't have homework so it's really only 7 classes but still...and I have voice and piano lessons - and I have to practice really hard this semester. Not only because I'm doing a senior recital but we (my parents) pay money. And honestly, I'm scared for when I go to college...scared that I'm not going to be responsible enough for myself. It really does scare me. And I don't like it.
Anyway, all this to say: I really hope that I can change for the better this year...I don't like being the type of person who is always wishing that a) they were someone else or b) always wanting to do better and be more responsible and get things done on time. So I guess I'll see what happens.
Rachel
Hey, tell me when you figure out the formula for waking up into the person you want to be...:P This is an issue for me too, and all evidence I've gathered so far is pointing to that it just takes a lot of work...*sigh* Ah well. I'll be praying for you. <3
ReplyDeleteRachel! I so know what you mean - and being disappointed in yourself for being lazy, or not getting the work you need one, etc. I learned a lot this senior year, working at cam over the summer, and living at home this year being completely in charge of my schedule and life.
ReplyDeleteThe most I can tell you in a comment, is that it really is up to you to make yourself. We do it with the strength of Christ, but it's not going to be different, you're not going to change, until you do.
Sounds simple; of course it is very hard :) But I can tell you from personal experience that it is SO worth learning those disciplines!
Senior year I started doing my homework Friday and Saturday, so that Sunday could be a completely free day. Initially, it was so I could hang out with my friends on Sunday and not have to rush home to do homework, or be stuck inside all day doing homework right before Monday, when I had to start all over again. But most of my friends did save their homework until Sunday, so it became a day when I rested, did fun things I'd wanted to do all week, played games with my family, painted, cleaned my room (something I love), read LOTS, or watched the TV shows that I'd missed during the week.
It felt SO GOOD to have a day off, basically just due to my hard work during the week and Saturday. That is just one example, but doing the hard things and really working HARD on homework and creating disciplines for yourself - it is so much more enjoyable! Then when you DO get to relax and rest, it is much more worth it, because you have been working so hard (for example, you would probably enjoy watching your TV show the next day, if you had been working really really hard on school for the past two days, you know?).
This is probably going to be the longest comment ever, so I'll stop - but email me if you want to talk about it more..I have LOTS of thoughts and (I think) some good ideas about discipline and "making yourself" into what you want to be.
LOVE you, Rachel!
-Reeve