ok, so right now I'm supposed to be doing anatomy, but I thought I'd get this out here while I'm at it. Does anyone else feel like they're pretty worthless? Like honestly, I wonder why my friends even want to be around me - for one thing, my favorite topics don't vary much :) and besides, no one really wants to hear about the things that we talked about last time. I know I'm rambling - I guess right now I feel like:
1) I'm wasting time on here when I should be doing schoolwork - it's more fun to read about what everyone else has been doing than actually getting my own things done.
2) The reason I can't get Facebook yet is that I'm not 'responsible' enough w/ everything else.
3) I'm afraid I'll have to get glasses because I spend too much time on the computer - ok, more than I normally do - I follow 46 blogs now - and I'm really considering just getting off of this whole thing and just reading books.
Then I wouldn't worry about whether I'm going to graduate or not; whether I"m really going to start exercising anytime soon; and maybe wondering if any guy's going to ask me to prom this year or not - I wouldn't be surprised if no one did - I'm too loud anyway. Don't get me wrong here - I'm not thinking of doing anything drastic - I"m just trying to figure everything out. And I know how annoying it is to just sit and listen to other people whine and complain about how complicated their life is when in reality, my life is pretty good. I just think that I have to wait for too many things at one time.
Like yeah, I have my license now and I have a camera. But I still want Fb, an mP3 player, a laptop and a phone. They're not the most important things in the world, I know, but they're things I want. And besides, they cost money, but hey, I've got some - but on the other hand, I probably should save that for college. But hey, that's what bday and Christmas money's for, right? All this to say - I really feel at loose ends right now - like I really don't know what my life's going to be about and I really don't care right now. I guess I just want to sit and read the rest of my life - and that's not going to happen anytime soon.
I make lists, people - and I re-write them - and then two weeks later, re-write them again because maybe I've checked off one or two things but I have "mountains of homework to do!!!!" and it's not getting better. I think I'm the most lazy senior around here - I probably won't even pass this year -and then I won't go to college, and then I won't get a bf (my mom wouldn't like to hear this :) and you know what - I better stop before I bore you to death -I'm getting a little tired myself. I don't know what I accomplished by writing this post - just a whole bunch of words and dashses - and they don't really make sense...just like I really don't make sense - a lot of times. and I don't have it that bad off compared to other people. I'm tempted to just stop going on here for a long time - and then I'll never catch up on reading everybody's posts.
goodnight. and hope you have a better night than I do...anatomy here I come...:D (not!! :)
~Rachel <3
Ugh I don't like that time of the school year where you just get the blahs. No bueno. But hey, at least we have fun things like blog stalking to console us, right? :) thanks so much for following!
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